Three little birds…

According to the song by Bob Marley & The Wailers there are “Three little birds pitch by my doorstep”.  Well that’s Bob’s story, and this is mine.

Recently as I walked to the kitchen, I noticed something outside the window flying around my three-season screened in porch, and this was abnormal.  The porch is completely screened in, except for a tear at the bottom of one of the screens which I had been meaning to fix, but in my façade of normalcy nobody from the street can actually see the tear, so is it really there?

This will not end well

I sipped my coffee and looked out the window to watch the bird fly back and forth unsuccessful in his escape from the porch.  As I watched I engineered solution in my head about how I could help guide the bird back to the hole in the screen in which it entered.

It kept flying (and pooping) near the tear in the screen, but he couldn’t quite figure out his exit strategy.  I went out to the porch and moved a piece of furniture that I figured would help guide the bird’s migration.  Didn’t work…

Go out this way, follow the arrow sparrow

Now his friends were in the bush located next to the porch outside coaching him, but he wasn’t getting it.  So one of his friends decided to come on in and help him out.   Then I had two little birds outside my doorstep, not singing “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!”  Instead their lyrics were more of something like this “Oh God, we’re gonna die, die for sure”!

Good job helper bird!

A third bird propped itself in the bush just outside the screen, and this is when I flew into action.   I went to the kitchen, grabbed a box cutter and thought about which screen was best to remove.  The torn one? The one the bird kept smashing his little bird body into? I was not sure, he seemed to have short term memory loss of the original entrance / exit location. 

Get off my porch

To my delight, when I returned, there were no more birds.  Apparently #3 was the wisest of the bunch and managed to coaxed them out from their original location.  I went out to the porch to verify this was the case, and that I wouldn’t have three little dead birds outside my doorstep in the spring.  Nope, they were gone, they flew the coop, friends of a feather they flocked together. 

Will I fix the tear in the screen in the spring?  Depends on how many birds enter from this point forward.

High Snow Hopes

In the part of New England where I live we managed to escape the winter season pretty much unscathed this year, but apparently mother nature had other plans for this weekend.   That’s OK because right around Christmas time I bought myself a present, well two presents to be exact.  These two shiny bad boys were going to solve all my snow problems.

So new, so shiny

This winter I welcomed all the snow the clouds could deliver so I could impress the neighbors with my snow scooping skills. Oh, we had other attempts at snow fall this year, and I was able to clean up after one of the snow events with a broom and a single swoop of my arm on the windshield of the car.  This weekend however was it, FINALLY my snow day had come.  


Out comes the yellow shovel, my brain presented me with a challenge – I bet I could shovel the ENTIRE sidewalk in just one scoop! – Shovel in hand I placed it onto the sidewalk and positioned myself behind the handle ready to remove ALL THE SNOW in just one push of the shovel.   Two feet into the push, stuck.  Hmm must have hit a bump in the sidewalk.  Again, two feet, stuck. (swear word) One more try, one foot, stuck!  (creative slew of swear words because that’s what I do)

Then I tried the little gray shovel, I got about 5 feet of pushing snow before it slowed to a stop.  I picked up the yellow shovel again, maybe there were some directions on the back I didn’t read carefully before I shoveled.   Try again… Big fat N.O.P.E. No scoop for you! I finished shoveling with the little gray one. 

The yellow one I’ve given the name…. Big Lazy Sticky Yellow.   I had such high hopes for it, I mean look at the depth of the scoop, the curve of the handle, and heck it has not one, but two grips in the middle!   It is my belief that this shovel was designed for the beautiful people, you know anyone 5’ 4” and over, not for us hobbits.

The good thing about this entire snow episode was that I was delighted by the cute little maple leaf tracks that my boots leave behind in each foot print.  More snow coming on Sunday, I’ll give Big Lazy Sticky Yellow a try again, no doubt more swear words on the way!

Starting off on the right foot